Its that time of year again when the build up to the anniversary of Jacks death infects my every waking moment and destroys my ability to sleep soundly. The 3rd Anniversary is heading my way, I have…

[Sara Palmer]

Its that time of year again when the build up to the anniversary of Jacks death infects my every waking moment and destroys my ability to sleep soundly. The 3rd Anniversary is heading my way, I have never slept properly since the day Jack died, I have long forgotten that peaceful sleep I once had which was instantly replaced by bouts of insomnia and restless interrupted sleep patterns I now have. Inside I am in knots, Every day is hard but that fateful day that changes your life totally is the only day on the calendar that you dont want to come around. Part of me cant believe its nearly 3 years since I last saw my little man, I very occasionally see him in my dreams but those sightings are few and far between and not always pleasant. Where has the last 3 years gone? flown by in a blur whilst I have been existing but not living I think.

The last 4 months the knots inside me have loosened, I have found happiness again, someone to share my pain with, for that I feel very lucky and loved. My little lady continues to blossom and grow and every now and then I see Jack in her.

So I go with the flow, have no choice, I have no control of the grief, such a strong force to contend with.

Keep up the fight you guys, I reach out to everyone of you fighting/affected by this illness. Miss you Jack.

[Colette Ann Frysz]

My daughter and I have discussed her finality. We don't know it's date but it could be anytime. I've told her I wouldn't know if I could go on without her. She told me I had to because I have to tell her story. So you need to tell Jack's story. But you need to tell all of it and not just the final part. While I've not experienced the finality I experience bits of it all along the way. It is painful no matter what. Take in the pain and then remember the whole story. Jack will always be there in ways you will not anticipate.

[Jessica Olivia Frysz]

Sara-
I send my condolences out to you and your family on this horrible day :( If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't look forward to that kind of anniversary. I of course don't ever look forward to the anniversary that I have been on dialysis, but it just means I'm a fighter with a disease that won't give up. I'm healthy, living with aHUS while continuing dialysis, until the soliris drug is approved to be used with transplant recipients, as I believe it will help me when I do find that donor I need. I'm so sorry about your son, but don't be offended, at least he doesn't have to suffer as long as I have had to, he's in a better place.

[Linda Burke]

Finding the rainbows through the rain is a true blessing. I'll be thinking of you, and sending a hug along with healing thoughts.....

[Grace]

If I could take that calendar day away for you, I would. Continue feeling loved. We will win.

[Cheryl Biermann]

I am so glad you can talk about your beautiful little boy, Thank you for sharing with us, we are forever inspired by his fight and will not give up. Take comfort in the fact that he is in a better place and will not feel any more pain. Take comfort in your sweet little girl and start living again. You can and you will, I know. I can sense your strength and goodness. God bless you.

[lisa ann peterson]

so sorry that this awful disease took your beautiful boy... i will be praying that god give you strength and guidence...